I’ve Discovered Hell On Earth and It’s Called Queens!

Greetings all, I know it has been awhile once again, and I think the title of this blog gives it away. I have tried to keep this blog fairly positive, but I think I just need to get this off my chest, and may be once I do I can get this back to being a daily blog about Nash and my adventures. Four months ago, Nash and I moved out of NYC to Queens, as it has been a bad year, and for those of you not familiar with NYC rent, it is insane. Well, we had an opportunity to move out to Queens, right on the border of Jamaica, Flushing, and Kew Garden Hills. That should have been a sign to me. We went from a nice size studio apartment in the heart of Manhattan to a huge one bedroom in the middle of nowhere. When you are blind, moving to a new area is quite challenging and frightening.

Nash and I had to learn how to just get out of the apartment complex, as it is quite large. It took a little while, and was very frustrating, but we can now do it every day. The problem, or should I say the first problem is that once you get out of the apartment there is very little in walking distance. There is a grocery store, and I do have to admit the employees there are quite nice, there is a pharmacy, and again the employees there are also very nice, but that is where it ends. There is a local sports bar, and I was excited about that, but amazingly, one they do not serve food, two the element is a little on the creepy side, and they do not take credit cards or debit cards. When you are blind, dealing with cash is a little on the difficult. Yes, I do know there are money identifiers, and yes, I do have an app on my iPhone, but it doesn’t work half the time, and who wants to be sitting in a bar, scanning all of their money when the element surrounding you is questionable. Ok, so Nash and I do not spend a lot of time in the bar around here.

Lets get to the next part, getting in to the city. First you have to take a bus to just get to the subway, and yes, I am a little on the lazy side, but you can’t even walk to the subway from here, as there is a freeway entrance that you have to cross with no stop light, not the best thing for a blind guy to do. The bus is only two stops from the subway, but here is the issue, the bus doesn’t always stop at the bus stop. If the bus is to crowded is just drives right past you. This has happened on enough occasions to be quite annoying, and it hasn’t even gotten really cold yet, so I have that to look forward to you. Once you get to the subway than you have anywhere from a third minute ride to an hour depending on where you are going in the city. It gets even worst, on the weekends or late at night, the train turns in to a local making twice as many stops, so double your travel time.

Ok, so we have covered getting around, on to the next topic. I do not know how to cook, and there are only a handful of places that deliver out here, pizza and Chi-Mex. That’s right Chi-Mex, that is not a misprint. They have Chinese/Mexican restaurants out here. Talk about an identity crisis. Oh yeah, and the delivery guys cannot find the apartment, so I have to either walk outside with Nash or take the cane and try and find the delivery guy. Half the time the delivery guy is scared to death of Nash, for those of you who have met Nash, we all know how intimidating he looks! So the choices to eat out here are pizza, Chi-Mex, or nuking a frozen dinner. Not a lot of options. I was excited when they opened a new Burger joint up the street. Nash and I went in there and ordered a Cheeseburger, and the people working there almost had a heart attack, and asked “Don’t you know where you are?” “Yeah, heel on earth!” It was a Jewish Burger Joint, and I guess a blind guy was supposed to know that they don’t serve cheese. Lets just say we haven’t been back there.

Well, with all of these issues, I am sure the people are at least nice. HA! I have a major neighbor issue. These people do not understand the concept of other people, and being neighborly. The asshold next door is constantly banging away, it sounds like he is playing shuffle board against the wall, and he has a two story apartment, it is so unbelievably unnerving. I did the polite thing, and went next door when I couldn’t take it anymore and knocked on his door, and the guy pulled a queens and refused to answer the door. So now, I am left to banging on the wall with a paddle to no avail. I have walked Nash hundred of times out here, and said hello to people that I hear passing by, and not once has anyone responded. I guess they are just pissed about living in Queens.

And, I haven’t gotten to the best two parts. Now that it is getting cold, it is at least ten degrees cooler in the apartment than it is ever outside. Not sure how that is possible. And finally, the best part. The planes. The apartment is fairly close to the airport and from 6am to 10pm you can hear planes flying over the apartment every two minutes. Un freakin real. This last part is so disturbing, as half the time I can’t even hear the voiceover on the computer due to the planes. Needless to say, Queens is the worst place I have ever lived, and I lived in North Ridge, California right after the big quake there in 1994.

Sorry for this blog post being such an unbelievable downer, but I finally just had to get it all off my chest. It is tough to write a positive blog about your daily adventures when you are pissed off most days, and thinking how the hell did I get here. Nash doesn’t even like the place, and he sulks a lot and sleeps more than he ver did. At least he gets to sleep in my big comfy bed. I did take him to the vet the other for a routine checkup and I happy to report, that he got a complete clean bill of health, so that was a very positive thing, as the last thing in the world that I wanted to hear was that Queens was making him sick.

Queens is so terrible that I now even hate the show Entourage, as they were all suppose to be from Queens, and thought Queens was so great. I guess that is why they were on TV and not real.

Nash and my new motto, Queens Sucks!


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