Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Is There An Overeaters Anonymous For Dogs?

April 4, 2012

Well, at least with the hit sitcom Mike and Molly, overeating is becoming topical once again and being discussed in open forums.. What do you do when it hits close to home and to someone you love? That is the situation that I am currently living in. Now my guide dog Nash definitely loves me, but there is something he loves even more than me, food! It is both unhealthy and hurtful. I guess I have known about it since we were introduced three years ago. I noticed that when it was time for Nash to eat, he would inhale his food. I thought to myself, how is he able to enjoy his food inhaling it like that. Well, it is now three years later, our relationship has blossomed, but he is still overeating and inhaling his food. To make things worst, he is constantly looking to eat something. I will take him outside to go to the bathroom, and he seems more interested in eating the grass than doing his business. Also, after I eat something, actually anything, Nash will come over to check out the area to see if anything dropped on the floor. He gives the area a very thorough inspection, than heads back to bed. If I am preparing something in the kitchen, and a piece of it drops on the floor, it is gone before it hits the floor.

It would be one thing, if Nash’s overeating and food addiction just affected me. It doesn’t. When we go to a family member or friends house, and someone is in the kitchen, there Nash is, giving them a false sense of affection. As he is really being sneaky looking for a handout that he can eat. And forget about holidays, as Nash will follow around the person eating the most. He especially loves it when there is a little kid around that he can take advantage of, and share whatever treat they are enjoying. He is a sneaky little guy.

This past week I think he hit rock bottom, as I think he was giving bulimia a try. He would eat his food and then shortly there after he would throw it up. Not a good look for a guide dog, but more importantly, not healthy for his stomach or his teeth.

We have gotten to a point where his overeating has become a concern, as he must have a really fast metabolism as he is still in great shape. One of us has got to stay in great shape, and it probably isn’t going to be me. Maybe an intervention is called for, where we can get a bunch of Nash’s friends and fellow dogs in a room, and everyone can go around the room and tell Nash why they are concerned about his overeating and how it is hurting them. then, maybe we can get to a point where one day, I can be sitting next to Nash and hear him say, Hi my name is Nash, I’m a guide dog, and I’m an Overeater!

DISCLAIMER: This blog entry was written completely from a satirical standpoint about a dog’s love of food, and more to the point a labs love of food. There is no seriousness intended or cause for concern.

Does Your Guide Dog FaceTime?

April 1, 2012

Guide Dog work is not all work and no play. For years, guide dogs have been tasked with leading blind people around. They are trained to go from corner to corner. Now I have no idea about the history of guide dogs. I am sure there was some caveman out there who was blind and slapped a harness on the back of a T-Rex. And that is how it all began. When dinosaurs became extinct, blind people had to find a new animal to lead them around, and who better than the family friendly dog? Then came guide dog schools to train the dogs, and the great people who raise the dogs before heading off to the guide dog school, the puppy raisers. And things have pretty much progressed since there.

With technology being what it is these days, and everyone having a camera and GPS system on them at all times, I am sure the future of guide dogs will be interesting. Guide dogs already have GPS chips in them in case they get lost, so they can be found by satellites. Pretty amazing, try explaining that one to World War II vets. With GPS becoming more and more advanced. I can see a time pretty soon where the guide dogs harness comes with a chip in it that will help a blind person navigate even down to the slightest millimeter. With my great guide Nash now, I still have to rely on the kindness of strangers to help me find the door to a business, especially a place that I have not been before. If there are a bunch of stores in a row next to each other, and I tell Nash left to the door, I can still be at the wrong store. With a GPS system built in to his harness where I can click a button and have a bluetooth earpiece in, I could find the door on my own, if GPS directions get down to it. That would be quite a nice world to live in.

Now that we have covered the work part, lets get to the play part. Does your guide dog FaceTime? For those of you not familiar with FaceTime, it is a program built in to all macs, iPhones, and iPads, allowing you to chat via video with someone else running FaceTime. I believe it is the same concept as Skype. The problem with Skype is it is no longer accessible, meaning that a blind person who uses a screen reader, in my case, voiceover over the mac cannot use it. There are several programs and websites that are inaccessible and we are not going to get in to that today, as that is a long topic. When a site or app is inaccessible it means that the site or app has not been properly designed where a screen reader cannot read the page elements. That is a novice understanding of it. I am sure a computer programmer could explain it in much more detail to you. You do have to remember I was in college at a time when the internet and email hadn’t blown up quite yet, and we were still just using it to download pictures from Entertainment Weekly. Remember Prodigy?

So now that you have a basic understanding of FaceTime, what good is a video chat to someone who is blind? None. Yes, the person you are speaking with can see you, but you can’t see them, but to a guide dog, it can be quite fun, and a way for him to see those family members and friends that do not live near you. I have Facetimed a few times with friends and family. And I know what you are thinking, how does Nash get anything out of it? I didn’t think he was either, until I noticed that every time I FaceTime with my Mom, someone who Nash knows quite well, he wants to lick the screen of the iPhone when he sees her face! Sorry to let you other people know, Nash doesn’t do that when he sees you. Pretty amazing, as I know he is color blind, but he is obviously differentiating between my Mom and everyone else I have Facetimed with. So, yes, my guide dog does FaceTime!