Archive for May, 2010

I Think Nash Thinks Everything is A Game

May 18, 2010

I was brought up wrong, as I brought up to believe April Showers Brings May Flowers. Not the case. It should be April Hot and Humid Brings May Cold and Rainy. I know, it doesn’t have the same ring to it, and I’m not complaining as I do prefer the cold overcast rain to hot and humid. I can take the rain in the 50’s, it is when it is in the 20’s and lower that I can’t take the rain. After both of Nash and my jaunts outside today he was nice and wet. I go to get the towel to dry him off, and if you have been reading my blog you know that Nash likes to act like a bull as soon as I take the towel out, he’s like ole, ole, and keeps running through the towel which makes it adventurous to dry him off. He even snarls while he does it, and it really can tire me out. Well today both times when I went to dry him off, not only was he ole’ing me, but he got one of his bones and wanted me to dry him off and play with his bone at the same time. Sorry Nash, I only have two hands. He even knocked me on my keester during one pass. Do you have any idea how difficult is to dry a dogs paws while he is playing with a bone and flipping it in the air? Not the easiest of tasks. Since it is supposed to rain all day and get even worse later, I imagine that I will get to do this at least two more times today. Never a dull moment with the Nashster.

Great, Nash suffers from RPS!

May 15, 2010

Nash and I spend a lot of time napping. Since he likes to nap in my bed, I have come to realize something, along with his allergies, Nash suffers from RPS! Restless Paw Syndrome! I realized that Nash first suffered from RPS a few weeks ago, as he was sleeping, and he had his head on my chest, and his paws started running in his sleep. When I started to think back over the past year that we have spent together, I recalled that he often kicked his paws in his sleep. We were told at Guiding Eyes that this was very common, and that dogs often dream about running, and kick their paws while sleeping, well, I saw a commercial for us humans about Restless Leg Syndrome, and I put two and two together, got five, and realized that Nash must be suffering from Restless Paw Syndrome. Unfortunately, at this time there is no cure for RPS. Maybe we should start lobbying the equivalent of the NIH for dogs, and maybe we can get some grant money to find a cure for RPS, as 1 in every 2 dogs suffer from RPS! Although it it not a life threatning ailment, it sure as hell is cute.

Nash set a record this morning for times faking me out that he was doing his buisness. It’s a good thing that the vet told me that dogs don’t get backed up because I thought Nash was doing his best impersonation of a dog being backed up. I had to kepp feeling his back to see if it was curling like a J, as that is how I know he is doing his thing. Well, he must have done this about seven or eight times before actually doing anything. I am convinced he just likes messing with me!

It’s A Good Thing Nash is Not A Vampire!

May 12, 2010

One of the many fun things about going blind and being blind is you can’t see where you are going. Outside of my apartment Nash has the job of leading me around, inside he gets to be a regular dog, as I have the layout of my apartment down, and use my hands to go between rooms. I live in a studio apartment, and it is pretty wide open, no coffee table, as I kept getting to many bruises on my shins. OUCH. This morning, someone rang my doorbell over and over, it must of startled me because I jumped out of bed. I was a little disoriented as I headed to the door, and WHAM, I ran smack into the corner of a wall. I hit the wall so hard, it knocked me off my feet, split my nose open, cheek and some how my elbow. It also gave me a nice whip lash. Nash was a loyal guy as he was on the floor next to me. I was pretty bloody so it is a good thing that Nash is not a vampire, or he would have feasted on me. By the time I got off the floor whoever was at the door was gone. So now a few hours late, I have a bumped nose that hurts, a sore neck and headache, and a cut on my elbow which Nash tried licking, maybe he is a vampire, I will have to monitor him over the next few hours, well at least there is a Yankees double header today because the day couldn’t have started much worse.

We have Mother’s Day & Father’s Day, hey Hallmark When’s Guide Dog Handler Day?

May 10, 2010

First I would like to say a belated Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s out there. Nash is one bad Mama Jama. Remember that song? Nash made no effort what so ever to contact his Mommy Moon on Mother’s Day. Then again being fair to Nash, he does come from a broken home, and he doesn’t even know where his mom is. I guess Nash comes from a dysfunctional family lie most of us. My problem is my family is to functional which is why I haven’t become more successful. Yes, I blame my parents for too normal of a childhood for my lack of financial success as an adult. Thanks a lot Mom and Dad, why couldn’t you have been more screwed up, it would have made my life a lot easier now. Hey, you got to be able to blame your parents for something.

So considering that Mother’s and Father’s Day are total Hallmark holidays, why not a Guide Dog Handler Day? Come on Guide Dog lobby, I know we don’t have enough important issues to bring before Congress, so lets add one to the docket. Funding, Research, or a Guide Dog Handler day? And please don’t anyone give me the cop out that every day is guide dog handler day! I know several of you were thinking that while reading this, yes, I am a mind reader. Just a few thoughts for the day. Nash is happy as it has gotten cool in NYC again.

Call the papers, I just had the dumbest thing ever said to a blind guy!

May 6, 2010

Over the years, people have said some pretty dumb things to me. Off the top of my head, a few of them have been, “I didn’t see you,” which I normally reply, “yeah, me neither.” There’s been “Watch where you are going!” Which I reply, “I wish I could!” The old classic, “what are you blind!” Where the only response is, “YES!” which can also be followed with an expletive of your choosing. There’s also some friendly brain farts, like “Wow, check out that smoking hot babe,” While watching sports with a friend, “what are you blind ump!” “Did you see where I put my cell, the remote, my keys, etc” There’s also the general public brain farts, asking me for directions, the waiter handing me a menu, people holding out their hand for me to shake, people pointing where something is, etc. I can go on forever, and I am sure I am leaving some of the best ones out that aren’t coming to me as I write this.

Earlier today, Nash and I came back into my building and there was a woman with a little dog, and Nash mosied on over to say hello, and this woman took the cake on the dumbest thing ever said to a blind guy. She said to me, “I just had eye surgery so I can’t really see either.” Are you kidding me! You having lasik isn’t exactly the same thing, and I’m guessing that your eye sight will come back in less than a day. I don’t believe in physical violence, but this was one woman who needed to be smacked to knock some sense into her. Not to worry, I didn’t smack her, I didn’t even respond. Nash and I just kept on walking, and considering that I had my dark sunglasses on because it is way to bright out, I am guessing that she could see enough to tell that I am a blind guy.

Nash let out a yelp the other night that I had only heard once before. Poor little fella. He is still getting the ear drops, and I guess in my attempt to make sure that I got the drop in his ear, I stuck the dropper in to far. It didn’t come out of his other ear, so that was a good thing, but I felt really bad. Amazingly though, he didn’t jump out of my bed, and still let me come over to him and pet him and give him a nice apologetic belly rub. I felt really bad for awhile. The only other time I had heard him yelp like that was when we were hurrying in a monsoon to get across a street, and I accidentatly stepped on one of his paws. So I guess twice in a year isn’t to bad, but it is a sound that I would rather not hear again.

And if you are keeping score, Nash has once again taken the global lead in shedding, as he is losing his winter coat, and is losing massive clumps of hair on a daily basis. I am amazed that after I groom him that he has any hair left. It is like it is growing faster than I can groom it!

Hot, Hot, Hot

May 3, 2010

No, I am not singing that awful Buster Pointdexter song Hot, Hot, Hot. It is hot, hot, hot in NYC. For some reason, my apartment is always 10 degrees cooler in the winter than it is outside, and 10 degrees hotter in the summer. I need to get that reversed. As I write this, Nash and I are sitting here in a pool of sweat. I can’t imagine how hot Nashee is, as I am not wearing a fur coat, and my building claims that they can’t turn the air conditioning on until May 15, that doesn’t pass the smell right test. We do have three fans going, and it is still not enough, as my apartment feels like a sweat lodge,, and the great thing is I pay for it. It is so muggy in here that we may have a fog alert soon.

Nash does lay in front of one of the floor fans to keep cool, but I don’t think that is even working, as earlier today he got stepped on, as he was lying in a new spot. He was curled up in the corner, as I think it was probably the coolest place for him to lay in the apartment, and guess what, yesterday was even worst than today. If it is this hot in May, it is going to be a brutal summer, and we may have to pick up another fan or two, as even if the air conditioning was on, it is a joke, and doesn’t even cool off a tiny little NYC apartment, Oh how I miss central air.