Happy Only Three Years to the Apocalypse Day!

It’s 12/21, and several groups have predicted the latest end of the world apocalypse to be 12/21/12. The Mayans, Hopie Indians, Nostradamus, and scientists have all predicted something terrible to happen on 12/21/12. I just hope its not as bad as Y2K. What a disappointment that was, it was like a big budget movie with amazing coming attractions that just goes nowhere. So lets examine some of the info on the upcoming apocalypse. Most people point to the Mayan calendar ending on 12/21/12 as a warning to us that the world would end. Of course they designed this calendar like 4000 years ago, and I have put a lot of scientific research and study and come up with an amazing hypothesis that people brighter than me need to investigate. My theory you ask, what if the Mayan who designed the original calendar ran out of rocks while designing the calendar when he came to 12/21/12? I mean he had to be using rocks to design a calendar that ran 4000 years, how many rocks could they have? I assume they had to keep some of the rocks to use as weapons to defend themselves. Maybe they used to many rocks to design the calendar, and didn’t keep enough to defend themselves and that is why they became extinct? Something to look into.

Now lets examing Nostradamus. I do not recall what his quantrant says about 2012, and I am sure you can look it up somewhere online, but come on, how many times did this guy predict the end of the world? Yeah, so he did get some things right, but how many things has he missed on? I still do find it pretty interesting that he did supposedly predict Hitler and 9/11, and a lot of other calamities. He had to be a lot of laughs at a party. All that gloom and doom, I am surprised his head didn’t explode from all the stress.

Finally, lets explore the scientific phenomeon that will take place on 12/21/12. Our solar system will be in perfect alignment meaning that our sun will appear exactly in the center of the milky way, an event that happens once every 26,000 years. My question, where did the notes come from from the last time this event took place? Like I have said before, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am pretty sure they don’t have any written date from 26000 years ago, and last time I checked science was based on fact.

In conclusion, I am kind of curious will the end of the world be a time zone specific event? Will China and Japan be hit first at midnight on 12/21/2012 and will the apocalypse than move West across Asia, Europe, and eventually hit North America? This is something you never hear about, because after all, it will be 12/21/12 a lot earlier in China. If all of this is true, I am just pissed that California will get hit last, it just isn’t fair that they out last us New Yorkers by three hours. I am just so very happy that the creationists and evolutionists can finally agree on something, the shit is going to hit the fan on 12/21/12!

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2 Responses to “Happy Only Three Years to the Apocalypse Day!”

  1. Lorraine Says:

    What a hilarious blog entry. Are you going to add it to your stand up material? I would say it’s a 3 – 4 applause breaker.
    As for the Mayan calendar, I figure that the rock on 12/22/12 finally made the calendar too heavy to stay on the wall and fell to the floor, foreshadowing the end of the world. If the Mayans had some hot glue, we could have gotten another century or two to worry about.

  2. blindgator Says:

    Thanks, yes, I plan to add some of it to the act, just need to work on it and tighten it.

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