Archive for August, 2009

More Big Laugh For Sight 4 News, Eddie Brill, Bonnie McFarlane & Rich Vos join the show!

August 18, 2009

Laugh For Sight 4 will be held Monday, November 16, 2009 at the World Famous, Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. The All Star lineup of comedians set to perform on the benefit include Eddie Brill, Robert Klein, Bonnie McFarlane, John Oliver, Colin Quinn and Rich Vos, with some special guests. There will be a silent auction held prior to the comedy benefit, and we are in the process of launching our website http://www.laughforsight.com, and you can read about the history of the benefit and all the great comedians who have donated their time at http://www.laughforsight.com/history. The website is fairly basic, and we are looking for someone to donate their time to redesign the website. If you are interested in getting involved with Laugh For Sight, please contact us at info@laughforsight.com. Tickets will be going on sale soon, and will be purchased through Gotham Comedy Club.  This year’s benefit will be donating the proceeds to Guiding Eyes for the Blind and the Scheie Eye Institute at the Univ. of Pennsylvania.

Do they not have dogs in India?

August 17, 2009

Nash and I were waiting for the elevator, and when the doors finally opened, a guy with an Indian accent screamed at the top of his lungs, “I’m aftaid of dogs!” Which by the way, is not the best way to greet a blind guy who is waiting for an elevator. I thought there was a Tarantino scene waiting for me inside the elevator. I could hear him back into the corner of the elevator, and he says, “I’m  afraid of dogs!” So I said, “Well, I’m afraid of getting an Indian guy I don’t understand every time I call customer service!” I’m kidding, I didn’t say that, but Nash was thinking it. I got on the elevator and said, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite.” It smelled really bad in the elevator, so I guess Nash actually scared the crap out of someone.

Nash and I were out for a walk, and he kept getting compliments about how cute he is, and what a pretty face he has, and then somone said, how old is she? Again with the she, he gets this all the time. Could Nash be so good looking and pretty that people just assume he is a girl? So, how can this face actually scare someone like the guy in the elevator? Anne Hathaway’s oretty face doesn’t scare me at all, and neither does Jessica Biel’s!

I haven’t been sleeping much lately, and have been up real late at night. Nash will come over to couch and stand far enough away so I can’t touch him, and just stare at me. I have been told this is his way of trying to tell me that it is bedtime. Yes, Nash, I know it is bed time, but I am wide awake. To get over this, I have begun to bring Nash’s bed over next to the couch, that way he can go to sleep, and still be right next to me. This has worked tremedously, as Nash sleeps, and I watch tv. The only problem is when I am finally ready to fall asleep, I get up to go to the bed, and I don’t really want to wake Nash up, so I will sit at the computer, and he will look around for me. I go over to tell him to get off his bed, but he ain’t moving. He sits on the bed, and he just stares at me. I have had to drag his bed over to the window next to my bed, and Nash just stays on his bed, like a bump on a log. What does that expression mean anyway? Well, I have been getting a good workout each night before bed dragging Nash around the apartment while he looks at me and I can tell he is thinking, “See, I told ya it was bedtime a few hours ago!”

Nash, it’s not polite to stare even if it’s just the microwave.

August 15, 2009

I noticed the other day that Nash likes to stare at people. I guess growing up with an absentee mother, he never learned that it is not polite to stare. On the subway, he will pick out someone and just stare at them, same on the bus, or whenever we are sitting in one place for a bit. Today, I caught him staring at the microwave as I was nuking some lunch. He was enthralled with the microwave. Now, I don’t know if he has always done this, and I just noticed, but he was really fascinated with the microwave today. Maybe its because I just had a cleaning woman here, and now you can actually see the microwave.

I got really depressed the other night because it finally hit me what really sucks about being blind, I’m never going to get to see a ghost! Unlike the kid in the Sixth Sense, I don’t see dead people, hell, most of the time, I don’t even see living people.

Here’s a little advice for ya, if you ever think you are having a really bad day, go to the ATM, close your eyes and try and use it. Not a lot of fun. Glad to see they are cutting back costs by not putting braille on the numbers anymore, not that that helps, as you still have to use the on-screen commands for your transaction. And why the hell do they have braille on the drive through ATM’s? Someone explain that one to me?

Nash does New Jersey, 48 state to go!

August 14, 2009

Nash and I left the state of New York for the first time today. LEt me clarify, we left the state of NY together for the first time. I have lived all over. and I think Nash may have been born in NJ, as that is where his Dad, Alfie lives, he is from a broken home, as his parents are not together anymore. I am not sure where his Mom, Moon lives, as we haven’t heard from her in awhile, so this is a sore subject. Together, Nash and I have only been in NY, so it was exciting to cross state lines, even if it was New Jersey. We took NJ Transit out of Penn Station, and for those of you who have not had the pleasure of riding NJ Transit, it sucks, possibly the worst transportation I have ever taken, and their customer service is also the worst of any transportation line I have ever experienced, although today, on our way there, their customer service was shockingly good. I guess it’s Nash, he brings out the best in people. Previously when I walked with a cane, no one would ever help me find my train, it was like I was a leper, I guess they thought if they helped me, they would catch blindness. We got off the subway at Penn Station, and were really lucky, as the woman I asked to direct me to the ticket counter, happened to be going there, so I grabbed on and we got there, and once customer service helped us onto the train, it was a pleasant ride.

We were going to NJ to see my sister Tracey, and my niece Siena, sorry Tracey, we were really coming to see Siena, hey, the truth hurts, just like everyone is coming to see Nash, and not me. Mash briefly met Siena at the Guide Dog school graduation, which seems like years ago. Siena has gotten a lot bigger, and she is now a crawling machine, as she was crawling all over the place. I think Siena may have a future as a Nascar driver or track runner, as she kept crawling laps around the coffee table. I got to feed Siena her bottle, and she has the cutest little hands and feet, and kept grabbing my finger, and then she grabbed my beard. I guess the beard needs a trim, because she got in a few good tugs. Great, I was getting picked on by an 8 month old, what’s next. While I was feeding Siena, Nash was off his leash, and was very good, he was definitely curious, and then I think he gave me a “hey, remember me, I get all the attention” look. After feeding Siena, I put Nash back on his leash, and we let Siena crawl up to him, she and he were definitely curious about each other. Sieane was touching Nash’s nose, and Tracey asked, “if she touches him, he won’t bite her?” I said, “no he won’t bite her, but if she grabs his wiener, I can’t promise anything.” I think Nash is really good with babys, actually really good with all people. I think Nash even licked Siena’s bottom, hey that is illegal in some states. I had told Tracey when I got to her house that if Siena has any toys on the floor, she should pick them up because Nash is a toy hog. Well, while Siena was crawling around she took a plush toy off the table, and must have left it on the floor, and sure enough, Nash had a toy in his mouth. Hey, I warned you, he loves toys. Amazing that when ever I drop something, Nash leaves it alone, and lets me find it, but if a toy is on the floor, it is his. I don’t know how he is able to differeniate, but he does. Siena went down for a nap, and I think this made Nash happy, because he was able to get everyone’s full attention.

It was the first timeNash has had a meal somewhere else other than home, so that was interesting, as I brought his food with me, and we put it in a tupperware bowl for him to eat. I don’t think he liked drinking his water out of the tuperware, as he did not drink that much water. Overall, I was very happy with how Nash behaved around Siena, and on his trip to NJ, and considering the nickname of the state, The Garden State, I mean the Garbage State, it is amazing to me that we were there all day, and Nash did not leave a land mind behind!

Nash and I must walk really fast!

August 13, 2009

Nash and I must walk really fast, as we were walking down the street today, and we set a car alarm off, as we walked past a parked car! Maybe Nash was in hulk mode, as he was pissed off, as we were coming back from the pet store, and they were out of Nature’s Choice Lamb and Rice. Nash was pouting all the way around the store, stomping his paws like a little kid who doesn’t get his way. Ok, so maybe it was me who was pissed off, and there was no stomping, as Nash was too busy getting compliments from the other customer’s on what a cute dog he is. Not to worry, I still have food for Nash, and they are getting a shipment in tomorrow. Also on our way back, it started drizzling, and Nash slowed down, he really seems to like the rain, hopefully he will not be the same way in the cold freezing rain and snow, as I know, I will want to get in and out as quickly as possible.

Nash did get a little sniff crazy in Duane Reade today. I was waiting for a prescription to be filledm and was sitting in a chair waiting for it, and Nash kept trying to dart underneath the chair I was sitting on. It wasn’t like he wanted to calmly sit underneath the chair, he was trying to get at something, and something tells, when they do clean the floors at Duane Reade, I doubt they actually move the chairs to get whatever might be underneath it. I know the employee’s probably don’t get paid that well, and if their cleaning is like the customer service, those chairs aren’t moving and getting cleaned underneath, so I wasn’t going to let Nash get at it.  Off to New Jersey tomorrow, and it will be Nash and my first time on a lengthy train ride alone tomorrow, so that should be interesting, and I don’t think I have ever mentioned how much I hate NJ Transit, it is the worst, and there is zero customer service at Penn Station to help a blind guy get on a train, so I guess Nash will have to read the train number out to me. Should be interesting.

A Clean Apartment Makes a Happy Nash!

August 12, 2009

I don’t mind cleaning, but being visually impaired, you obviously miss a lot of stuff, and it is amazing how dusty an apartment in NYC can get. I guess my apartment had gotten past the point of saying, well, if I don’t see it, it’s not there. and the doctor thinks all the breathing issues have come from dust and dog hair in my apartment. I do vacum every few days, but it is still amazing how much I miss. I used to have a cleaning lady that would come in every now and then, but she didn’t speak English, and this became a problem. When you are blind or visually impaired, you have to be able to communicate with people, or your life can be made a living hell by the smallest of things. For the past year,  I have been trying to find a cleaning lady that one I could afford, and two speaks English, so that way I could explain that when you pick something up to clean it, you have to put it back in exactly the same place, or I will never find it. It’s like having a guest over, and you tell them to put their drink in one of three places, otherwise it will get knocked over by me, not Nash. Sure enough, they put it some place other then where I specified, and I find it and knock it over. Can’t tell you how many times that has happened .Well, today, I had the cleaning lady, and she was here all day, and did a fantastic job. Nash was definitely curious, as he did follow her around for a bit, but then eventually settled by me, and let her work, just periodically looking up to see what was going on. It almost seems sometimes like he is trying to protect me, as I was sitting on the couch, and the cleaning lady was to the irght, and Nash would rest his head on my right leg, then she would be to the left, and Nash would rest his head on the left leg. Always keeping one eye open, and making sure I was ok. I think Nash is enjoying the newly cleaned apartment, he hasn’t had any complaints, and so far so good, everything I have looked for is exactly where it should be. I did always find it funny when I had a cleaning lady before and she would rearrange my medicine cabinet ,and refrigerator. Why do they do that, don’t they think we like the way things are, that is why they are that way. Well, busy day tomorrow, so a brief blog today.

Nash pants

August 11, 2009

No, I did not get Nash pants, and I am not wearing pants with Nash on them, or the awful thought, I did not make pants out of Nash, ugh. It was so unbelievably muggy and humid today, that Nash was panting like I have never seen or heard before. We had a couple of morning meetings, and we got off the subway at 23rd St. Well, at 23rd, they have those revolving subway exits, not great for dogs to go through. It actually took me about five minutes to get Nash to go through which is odd because he has gone through that one several times. Luckily the subway was really slow, so we were able to take our time, and eventually get Nash through the revolving turnstile safely. Not sure what he was afraid of, but every time I tried to start pushing the turnstile, he would back up. Probably not a great idea for me to go through the turnstile and then Nash next, as he is smart, but I don’t know if he is smart enough to turn the entire turnstile himself.

Our first meeting was at Gotham Comedy Club, and the entire staff seemed to know Nash. I think he is quickly becoming bigger on the comedy scene then me. Then we had another meeting which I thought was right around the corner, but as usual, I forgot that Broadway is on the east side in the lower 20’s, so we had quite a hike from 8th Avenue. Nash and I both needed the exercise, so I didn’t mind except for how muggy and humid it was, he had a great pace for most of the way, and when we got to our meeting, they were very kind to give Nash some water. We had another good meeting, and then began the hike back to 8th ave, and home. Nash reminded me of the little choo choo that could, as he was really going put put put half the way back, and he even had some water unlike me, then again he was working, and I was just walking.

We finalyl made it home, and Nash was panting real heavy, but I had been told that is the way dogs perspire, so I wasn’t too concerned. Shortly there after, I gave Nash his afternoon water, and all was fine. Then I began the fun part of my day, I spent the next seven hours on and off the phone with customer support with godaddy.com trying to get the laughforsight.com website up and running and the email accounts. Well, by 9pm tonight, with a break to walk Nash in between, we finally got everything done. Woops, I forgot to eat dinner, but not to worry, I did feed Nash on schedule and walk him. I guess I take better care of him then myself. There was a little bit of yelling at the computer today, as it was like putting a puzzle together and getting one more clue every time I called customer support. Why they couldn’t have told me everything the first time, would have saved me a lot of aggravation and time. The website is pretty basic right now, but will hopefully have more info in the next day or so. The cool thing about Nash, every time I yelled out at the computer, if he was beneath me, he would pop up and make sure I was ok, or if he was in his bed, he would walk over to see if everything was ok, or maybe he was trying to say, hey, you want to keep it down, trying to sleep here dude!

Colin Quinn to join Laugh For Sight

August 10, 2009

We got more big Laugh For Sight news today, as Colin Quinn of Saturday Night Live and Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn will be joining Legendary Comedian Robert Klein and John Oliver from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart for Laugh For Sight 4 at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City on November 16, 2009. We anticipate more big news in the coming weeks, and will be launching a PR and corporate sponsorshup campaign nest week, and be on the look out in the coming weeks for the launch of laughforsight.com. This year’s benefit will be raising money for Guiding Eyes for the Blind and the Scheie Eye Institute at the Univ. of Penn. We are always looking for help with securing items for the silent auction held prior to the comedy benefit, and with attracting corporate sponsorships. If you would like to help out with Laugh For Sight, please contact us at info@laughforsight.com.

Nash has been Furminated!!

August 10, 2009

Nash’s Aunt Lona got him a furminator, and we broke it in today. It was my first time using it, and hopefully it will help us get more of his loose Nashy hairs out instead of piling up on the floor, and contributing to my breathing issues. Yup, I am still dealing with the breathing issues, as I think there is just a ton of Nashy hair in my pad, even after vacuming again the other day. Nash just isn’t happy unless he is shedding. I think he thinks shedding is a hobby. I may have used the furminator incorrectly the first time, as I usually groom Nash with a comb, and then a brush. Today, I just went straight to the furminator, and I think I may have had to comb him, then brush him, then furminate him. Not clear on that, but am looking into it, as  I ran into some knots, and the furminator did not make Nash happy, and he normally loves being groomed. I have to be careful not to get smacked in the face with his tail when I am grooming, that is how happy grooming makes Nash, as he thinks like everything else, it is a game. As I was typing this, Nash just got annoyed with me. A lot of times when I am on the computer, I seem to sit on one foot underneath me on the chair, and Nash is underneath my chair, on my other foot and chair, well, my foot eventually falls asleep in this position, and I have to put it back on the floor. So, I just did this, of course, carefully so as to not step on Nash, but it took some manuerving, as to not disturb Nash, and I got it down, but a split second after it was down, Nash got up, backed up, stared at me, and then went over to his bed. Sorry buddy, but daddy has to be comftorable to. Wow, I never could have imagined ever writing that much about sitting on my foot!

Nash and I had to go to the bank today to have a check drawn up for the PR firm that we are hiring for Laugh For Sight, as we sign with them tomorrow, and like our previous visits to the bank, Nash was quite curious. He kept looking around and scoping things out again making me think he was a bank robber in a previous life. The teller had to come out to help me sign the check, and I think she was afraid of dogs because she kept saying let him know I am coming over to you, is it ok if I come next to you? I should have said to Nash, Cujo down, which I would have, but the teller was actually very friendly. Which brings me to yet another of my pet peeves ,idiots who talk on the cell phone while someone is helping them. The guy who was at the next teller was talking away real loud on his cell phone the entire time the teller was helping. Let me reiterate, as I have stated this before, when someone is helping you, there is no need for you to be talking on a cell phone, unless you are a doctor and it is emergency, and the worst part was he was a loud talker, actually the worst part was he thought he was an important loud talker. In all my experiences, I have learned, if someone is talking real loud in public, it’s not because they are a big shot, rather they want people to think they are a big shot, it usually is caused by a short coming in a certain area of the male. This guy was asking his buddy, “so, you been working on any films? Oh guess, who lives in the building I just moved into on 56th and Broadway, P.Diddy and Daniel Craig, but Daniel Craig is working on a show in England.” Take two things from this, the guy doesn’t know P.Diddy or Daniel Craig, and two, if you are a thief, no one is hom at Daniel Craig’s! I hate loud cell phone talkers. I guess manners and being respectful of the person who is helping you are a thing of the past.

Don’t Eat Where You Shit!

August 9, 2009

I know the phrase is don’t shit where you eat, but the phrase for dogs should be, don’t eat where you shit! Now, I know when I sit down for a nice meal, I am not going to eat it on the toitey, actually with all the stomach aches I have had recently, that might not be a bad idea. Everyday, when we take Nash out to do his business, he sniffs all around, and being blind, I can’t tell if his tongue is coming out and if he is trying to eat something, or he is just sniffing to find the are he likes. I think I do a very good job of cleaning up after him, but regardless, I don’t think the streets of NYC are that clean to begin with, and with Nash being such a lick friendly dog, I don’t want his tongue on any part of the streets of NYC even if it isn’t his bathroom area. He loves to lick me after every meal, and pretty much all day long. I have grown accustomed to it, and don’t mind the Nash baths on my hands and arms, but forget about the face, because I have know idea where that tongue has been.

I have come to the realization that seventy percent of the people in my building are absolue morons, and I could be low balling that figure, but I do want to give proper credit to the people who are nice and intelligent, because there are some in my building who are. I used to have daily encounters of getting on to the elevator when I walked with the cane, and I would bump into someone because they would not make their presence known with a simple hello, or even a throat clear, and then they would get all pissed off when a blind guy with a cane bumps into them. Hello moron, it’s not like I saw you standing there, and believe it or not, when a blind guy or gal gets into an elevator, and no one makes a sound, we are going to reach over to press the lobby button, we’re not going to ride the elevator all day long, and hope it eventually goes to the lobby. Well, I thought once I got the guide dog, that a dog in a harness would register more with people that hey, this guy is blind. Nope, we still got some morons, as I got on the elevator with Nash last night, and it was rowded, no one says anything until a woman, who I am politely not referring to by a word that starts with the letter “B” says in an annoyed tone, “You stepped on me!” I surprised myself, as I calmly said, “I’m blind, it’s not like I did it on purpose.” I think next time I will say, “Yeah, I can’t figure how I didn’t see someone standing there,” or :You got me, I have been waiting all day to get on to a crowded elevator, and step on the first person I could!” People never cease to amaze me.

It’s funny, when I used to walk with a canc, my doorman never would open the door for me, but we do have a revolving door, and I would use that most of the time, but since Nash and I have arrived home, they are very quick and nice to get the door, especially when we leave the building, which is real helpful, because on the way out, I would actually have to have Nash come to my right side, put the harness down, and heal him through the door, as guide dogs always walk on your left side, except when going through doors, as they go on the opposite side of the hinges, so there tail does not get caught in the door. One thing I have come to realize, when I come to renter the building, I do not need to put the harness down, and sometimes the doorman is busy which is fine, as I am not the only resident of the building, and I am capable of opening the door myself. What I have come to realize, is that it really sucks when the doorman is late getting to the door, and I am about to open it, and the big door smashes into my hand it hurts! Listen to me complaining about people announcing themselves in elevators, and the doorman actually not opening the door being a good thing. I guess we don’t live in a perfect world, and can’t have it both ways, so I guess I will just have to take the lumps and bruises as they come.