Don’t Eat Where You Shit!

I know the phrase is don’t shit where you eat, but the phrase for dogs should be, don’t eat where you shit! Now, I know when I sit down for a nice meal, I am not going to eat it on the toitey, actually with all the stomach aches I have had recently, that might not be a bad idea. Everyday, when we take Nash out to do his business, he sniffs all around, and being blind, I can’t tell if his tongue is coming out and if he is trying to eat something, or he is just sniffing to find the are he likes. I think I do a very good job of cleaning up after him, but regardless, I don’t think the streets of NYC are that clean to begin with, and with Nash being such a lick friendly dog, I don’t want his tongue on any part of the streets of NYC even if it isn’t his bathroom area. He loves to lick me after every meal, and pretty much all day long. I have grown accustomed to it, and don’t mind the Nash baths on my hands and arms, but forget about the face, because I have know idea where that tongue has been.

I have come to the realization that seventy percent of the people in my building are absolue morons, and I could be low balling that figure, but I do want to give proper credit to the people who are nice and intelligent, because there are some in my building who are. I used to have daily encounters of getting on to the elevator when I walked with the cane, and I would bump into someone because they would not make their presence known with a simple hello, or even a throat clear, and then they would get all pissed off when a blind guy with a cane bumps into them. Hello moron, it’s not like I saw you standing there, and believe it or not, when a blind guy or gal gets into an elevator, and no one makes a sound, we are going to reach over to press the lobby button, we’re not going to ride the elevator all day long, and hope it eventually goes to the lobby. Well, I thought once I got the guide dog, that a dog in a harness would register more with people that hey, this guy is blind. Nope, we still got some morons, as I got on the elevator with Nash last night, and it was rowded, no one says anything until a woman, who I am politely not referring to by a word that starts with the letter “B” says in an annoyed tone, “You stepped on me!” I surprised myself, as I calmly said, “I’m blind, it’s not like I did it on purpose.” I think next time I will say, “Yeah, I can’t figure how I didn’t see someone standing there,” or :You got me, I have been waiting all day to get on to a crowded elevator, and step on the first person I could!” People never cease to amaze me.

It’s funny, when I used to walk with a canc, my doorman never would open the door for me, but we do have a revolving door, and I would use that most of the time, but since Nash and I have arrived home, they are very quick and nice to get the door, especially when we leave the building, which is real helpful, because on the way out, I would actually have to have Nash come to my right side, put the harness down, and heal him through the door, as guide dogs always walk on your left side, except when going through doors, as they go on the opposite side of the hinges, so there tail does not get caught in the door. One thing I have come to realize, when I come to renter the building, I do not need to put the harness down, and sometimes the doorman is busy which is fine, as I am not the only resident of the building, and I am capable of opening the door myself. What I have come to realize, is that it really sucks when the doorman is late getting to the door, and I am about to open it, and the big door smashes into my hand it hurts! Listen to me complaining about people announcing themselves in elevators, and the doorman actually not opening the door being a good thing. I guess we don’t live in a perfect world, and can’t have it both ways, so I guess I will just have to take the lumps and bruises as they come.

2 Responses to “Don’t Eat Where You Shit!”

  1. Lorraine Says:

    Hey Brian,
    I’m sure Nash is being a good boy and not eating anything outside, but what did come to mind is the joke with the punch line: Because they can. Hmmm
    I can’t believe that chick was irate when you stepped on her! I like your alternative retort. Unfortunately I’m sure you will have many opportunities to put it to use.

  2. blindgator Says:

    Yes, it amazes me how oblivious and assinine people can be. I wonder if they are the same way if someone in a wheelchair bumps into them. People, relax, you’ll live longer. GO YANKS!! What a finish tonight, wow.

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